


we're going home.

by orphan_account



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: F/M, Inspired by A Song of Ice and Fire, Inspired by Game of Thrones, Lannister, Twincest, alternative ending
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-25
Updated: 2019-05-25
Packaged: 2020-03-14 17:17:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18952525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: cersei is alone at the red keep, awaiting her fourth child that's soon to come and fearing the Others that threaten the whole of westeros. jaime leaves the battle of the dawn terribly wounded looking for nought but one thing: home.~~~this is basically one of the headcanons i had for a long time of how i wanted the show to end for jaime and cersei. what inspired me for this first part of the story was a leak that said jaime would get fatally wounded at the battle of winterfell. hopefully I will write the rest of the story soon, hopefully.





	we're going home.

The Red Keep has been Cersei Lannister’s home for more than twenty years, yet it has given her more suffering than comfort. Ever since she’d been shipped off to be Robert Baratheon’s wife her only moments of peace came from being in her brother’s arms. Cersei’s joy and willpower came from holding her golden children in her arms, years passed and her brother Jaime was once more all that she had left. That until she realised she was carrying a fourth child. Against all odds; against prophecy, she wasn’t left alone in King’s Landing when her lover left, _I have my son_ , Cersei kept telling herself every night before she fell asleep in an empty bed.

 

Pacing thoughtfully around her chambers, Cersei thought of how the Red Keep haunted her once more. Such a vast and tall building shouldn’t be as empty and full of shadows as it is now, but no one else would come to join her, of that she knew. Winter had already come and made every corner of the castle sink even deeper into cold darkness. It was only her. Her and the little cub that grew stronger each day inside her womb despite the war approaching from the north. The war to end all wars, she knew that too and all too well.

 

It had been months ever since Jaime had decided to ride north. For all Cersei knew, their son could be born at any moment and the father wouldn’t be there. If he should be forgiven for leaving his family behind to try and win a war one handed? _Never,_ Cersei told herself the moment he left, but she wanted him back where he belonged. If anyone were to kill him it would be her. Not some undead man that longs for an endless night.

 

Just as Cersei was about to lay down for a quick rest, someone came knocking at her door. Knowing it couldn’t be any other than Qyburn, her only right hand in the seven kingdoms, she yelled out for him to come in and stood up quickly, all queen again she was.

 

“Your Grace, we appear to finally have news from the north”, he stared at her worryingly, he knew what was coming, but not even an unorthodox man expelled from the citadel is accustomed to such circumstances, “The dead army seems to be coming south fearfully, they say in a matter of weeks, perhaps days, they’ll be here to destroy King’s Landing, at least the White Walkers that remain. However, they seem to be strengthening their army at every step.”

 

Cersei kept quiet for a moment, her expression unmoving, always hard, always cold. “You know what to do when the time comes.” Cersei knew they had no chance at winning this war, if the dead are marching strongly and the north couldn’t stop them, the south stands an even smaller chance, if any at all.

 

Just before Qyburn could answer he saw the Queen bend over abruptly, her face fully covered with pain and discomfort. She reached a hand to the chair near to her to hold herself as to not fall, as she slowly turned her head upwards, her expression was a subtle battle between desperation and bliss.

 

“My baby is coming” Cersei whispered to herself.

 

 

*

 

_Winter had come, and this time it had brought a bleak and cold darkness like never before. Hundreds of carriages and horses and people tried to find their way amidst the snowy path of the Kingsroad. Every person still alive was trying to run from the madness that threatened from the north. Jaime Lannister had fallen into what seemed an endless slumber, yet his heart still beat in the back of some stranger’s carriage. He dreamt of darkness and women’s faces surrounding him from all sides; they looked like angels in his eyes, tending to his wounds with wet cloth. He dreamt of women’s cries and desperate voices screaming of the world’s end._

I cannot die while Cersei lives.

_Once the clueless finally realised the danger to come, chaos reigned and Jaime Lannister was throne off to the side of the road as if a worthless object. He laid there for hours and hours with no sign of awakening from the darkness and numbness that infested his mind and his body._

_Suddenly, when the light was about to go down and awake the night, Jaime rose from the ground in a sudden frenzy of cold sweat and mud and blood._

I cannot die while Cersei lives.

 _At last the numbness left his body, only to be replaced with the cursed consciousness that enabled him to feel the pain. The last thing Jaime remembered was a knife to the stomach and a blow to the head. He had run away from battle as fast as he could and hid in the depths of the Winterfell castle._ A coward _, he repeated to himself. The memories that came after were nothing but darkened blurs of a painful journey with the sole image of the Red Keep in mind. Nothing else mattered. He could see it now, in the distance. A day’s journey, perhaps, for a one handed wounded man._

 

*

 

Cersei had never experienced such pain before. As her yet unseen miracle was still fiercely kicking and stroking inside her belly, her hips and backbones seemed to be at war with her own body. Yet, nothing hurt more than the stabbing pain that suddenly hit her on the stomach and the back of her head, as if her crown was suddenly a dreadful weight of spikes and fear and grief resting upon her head.

 

Maids surrounded her from all sides trying to ease her pain. Worried faces and questioning whispers grew stronger as the Queen’s pain seemed to increase at an unnatural rate. Cersei felt wetness streaming down her legs and couldn’t bring herself to logical thought when one of the girls mentioned the word _blood_. Cersei’s body as well as her senses seemed to crumble and dissolve away from her, and in that moment she asked herself if that was how her mother felt when bringing to the world her youngest child. Visions of a young Joanna Lannister passed through Cersei’s head, and as yearning helpful hands tried to reposition the Queen, and yelled out for her to push and be strong, a sole whisper escaped Cersei’s lips,

 

“Mother.”

 

*

 

_As Jaime tried to stand, a flash of lightning seemed to go through all his body and explode at his every wound. The sudden pain shooting from his hips and backbones seemed to almost drive him to madness as he fell to his knees and called for his mother. He wanted nothing more than to be rid of everything he carried in his body, in his mind and in his soul. When he stopped fighting and surrendered to the illness that grew from deep inside him, he let himself cry like never before. As all his senses seemed to vanish, he could hear the sound of his sister screaming from deep within him. And Against all odds, he stood and walked._

 

_*_

 

Amidst visions of darkness, wildfire and long lost memories of her mother, Cersei knew the moment was coming for her to soon hold her golden beauty in her arms and that’s what kept her going. That and the seething anger that grew stronger each moment. _How could he do this?,_ Cersei repeated to herself. _How could he have done that when he promised me. When we had promised to be with and for each other time and time again._ She wasn’t meant to fight both illness and anger at the same time, yet there she was, alone. When _he_ should lie beside her through this night and every night after that. Now, everything around her was sole darkness. For Cersei, there was no one in the room but herself, her child and her anger, and the fault was all Jaime’s. Nothing would’ve been like this if he hadn’t betrayed her, and in her mind a dozen visions of her vengeance would come and go. Until, at last, she heard a cry. She heard her little cub’s cry; alive. She let it all in, and then let it all go.


End file.
